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Joey Comeau

118 quotesNovelist · Born Sep 26, 1980 · Canada · Male

Joey Comeau (born September 26, 1980) is a Canadian writer. He is best known for writing the text of the webcomic A Softer World, and for his novels Lockpick Pornography and Overqualified. 2Career Comeau's work is difficult to classify by genre. Of his eight books, two are comic collections, one is a "genderqueer adventure story", one is an experimental novel told through job application letters, two are collections of short stories, and two are horror. In 2003, Comeau co-created the webcomic A Softer World with Emily Horne. His first novel, Lockpick Pornography, was serialized on the A Softer World site prior to publication in book form by Loose Teeth Press. Excerpts from his novel Overqualified were included in the 2010 Best American Nonrequired Reading. The first 20 chapters of his novel One Bloody Thing After Another were serialized on the National Post's book blog and the book was nominated for the 2010 Shirley Jackson Award. One Bloody Thing After Another was also nominated for the 2011 ReLit Awards. In 2012 a sequel to Lockpick Pornography titled We All Got It Coming, was released for free on the Internet before being published together with the original in The Complete Lockpick Pornograph

All humor (118)

From “A Softer World”

Monsters are even more scary when you've seen them afraid.

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If you want the impossible, you have to make it want you back.

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I'd like my obituary to hint at a sequel.

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How's life? Well, I'm getting back what I put into it. So, not great.

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Love is stupid. Happiness is admitting we aren't better than stupid.

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There will always be someone better than you. But on the bright side, who cares?

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When you kiss me, I feel like I will live forever. But a better version of forever, that never gets boring.

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Maybe cats will take over when we all die. That's a nice thought. I hope we all die.

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If you put your mind to it, you can do anything. But you won't.

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There are some secrets I will take to my grave. But I don't want loving you to be one of them.

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Don't love someone to save yourself. Love someone to destroy who you used to be.

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At my worst, I worry you'll realize you deserve better. At my best, I worry you won't.

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When people say our love won't last forever, it sounds like they think anything will.

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Happiness is not a house where you can live.

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Love is a snowman we built together. And yes, spring is coming, but not just yet.

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Nobody grows tired of something they can't have.

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You're the prime suspect in the kidnapping of my heart. And I do not negotiate with terrorists.

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I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.

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I found a way to make your cellphone love you. There's a secret code you punch in and it calls your mom.

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Marriage: the ultimate double dare.

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