“Barney: You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second. Robin: Right, first…”

“There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married.…”

“Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to…”

“A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”