“As long as you follow the rules, you'll be fine. Rule number one: You will obey every rule I say after rule number one. Rule number two: None but the righteous shall see God. And since we ain't got no righteous people in here, God ain't gonna have to worry about your shitty prayers. So that means I'm His mean, shitty substitute.”
More from Charles Murray
“I should've kept my coat on, hell just froze over.”
“He used to say, one way or the other I would regret the life that I led. He used to say…”
“Slavery was always a good offer to a master.”
“How the hell do we catch an invisible man?”