“I know you saw me with the Senator. I think I'm in love, possibly for the first time. So…”

“I've never been as miserable in my life.”

“Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone's asinine ideas about me. I'm not a redneck, and…”

“In my day, the principal was the meanest sum-bitch God ever put on one leg. He'd lean on a…”