“Dennis: I'm not belittling the foodless fund, Peter, but we're talking teen suicide, here. I mean ask Alison; the number one song in America today is ‘Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It’ by Big Fun. Jesus, man, Westerburg finally got one of these things, and I'm not gonna blow it.
Peter: Great, so Heather gets the front page and I get crammed in by the Taco Bell coupon.”
More from Daniel Waters
“Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people ‘real life.’ She said, real life sucks…”
“They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.”
“I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad every time I did it…”
“Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world…”