“Dear Lord, please make sure this never happens to me because I don't think I could handle suicide. Fast, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.”
More from Daniel Waters
“Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people ‘real life.’ She said, real life sucks…”
“They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.”
“I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad every time I did it…”
“Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world…”