“Imagine that a friend tells us, "I feel depressed every morning." Society has taught us that we're supposed to say, "I'm sorry you feel that way." And that's a fine thing to say. But then we're supposed to ask:

WHY: "Why do you feel depressed?"

WHAT: "What makes you depressed?"

WHEN: "How long have you been depressed?"

WHO: "Have you talked to anyone about your depression?"

WHERE: "Is it only in your house? In bed? Do you feel better at work?"

The question we almost never ask, however, is the one that really matters.

HOW: "How do you do that? How do you make yourself depressed every morning?"”