“4-year-old: I'm not going to be 4 forever. Me: I know. 4: I'm going back to 3.”

“My kids were fighting over whether an imaginary cake was strawberry or chocolate. I told…”

“Me: The house is a disaster. We all need to clean. 8-year-old: Who's coming over? Me: No…”

“Me: Did you know people only use half their brains? 6-year-old: Maybe boys.”