“Dearest Jules, sisterly advice, volume seven: when I say my love life’s at a standstill,…”

“Apparently my credit rating is lower than that of most convicted felons.”

“Auggie Anderson: Okay. Drink till you're sloppy and mix your bets. Remember, you gotta…”

“My college campus has a magic statue. It's a longstanding tradition for students to rub…”