“By my count, there is still only one overnight celebrity who has managed to maintain a universal post-fame approval rating in the Internet age. That would be Harambe, who both 1) was a gorilla and therefore did not use Snapchat, and 2) is dead, so can’t spoil his web-free legacy by throwing feces or being bad at sign language or whatever else counts as embarrassing for gorillas.

Obviously, this particular strategy is of little help to you or me. We’re just better off living our lives, and hoping that the next Ken Bone is someone else.”