“When Facebook became a thing while I was in college, I longed for albums filled with my 12 closest girlfriends wearing matching college tees and cowgirl boots while holding matching tailgating tumblers of vodka and orange juice on a cold, crisp West Texas afternoon. Potential suitors would browse through this album marveling at how socially adjusted I was, and if they didn’t already find me attractive, they’d consider me attractive by association with my 12 attractive friends.”