“Oh lord when you are alone

and do not want to be, you

lie in bed with your own shoulder wrapped around and

beneath yourself so that

the surges of pain keep

you company. This is hurtful but it is so much better

than no nerves firing at all.

The worst is when there’s no one near to press on you

and make dents in your

skin with their finger nails.

You are left running your hands all over yourself, biting

trying and experimenting to create sensations. The

enormous feeling you make

prove to yourself that

you create great excitement.”