“I sound like such a bottom right now, but who wouldn’t want to get topped by Kate Winslet?”

“To insinuate that sex can’t be like eating a sandwich is offensive to both the…”

“Joe Alwyn is a cup of plain oat milk and I can’t believe he is anyone’s muse.”

“I want more. I want Demi Burnett to tear through Bachelor Nation, queering every space…”