"I know what the fear is. The fear is not for what is lost. W..." — Joan Didion

Quote
Catalog

I know what the fear is.
The fear is not for what is lost.
What is lost is already in the wall.
What is lost is already behind the locked doors.
The fear is for what is still to be lost.

— Joan Didion

Blue Nights

Loss Pain Holding On Heartbreak Change Letting Go Fear

More from Joan Didion

View all quotes

Quote
Catalog

Remember what it is to be me. That is always the point.

Quote
Catalog

The fear is not for what is lost. What is lost is already in the wall. The fear is for…

Quote
Catalog

Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.

Quote
Catalog

We know that someone close to us will die. We might expect to feel shock. We do not expect…

           WKM               &WK             W W         M      W      WWW WKW          W W            W           W       W K&W  WM  &WK  W
           W&W W WKW W WKW    W  W WKW WMW   W W WWW W W WW WWW  WW&   MW   &W   W W W &W WW W W W W   W W W  WW   W W W   M W&MWMWKW  W   W W WK
           W   W WKW W W W    W  WW &K WKW   W W WKW W W WW  MW  MMW   MWW W W   W W W MW WW W W W W   W W W WWW&  W W W   WK&&W  WMW W    W W WK
                                 WK

            WWM W        W                              W           K               KWW KW W&&          W &                         K               W
           W  W W WW W&W W W&W  WM   W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W    WM W&W W W W WKW W&W   WW   W WKM   WMW&W  W WW W&W WKW   W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W    KW W&W WMW
           W  W W WWKW&W W WKW  WWK  W WWWKW   W W W W  W    WW W&W W W W W W W W   &WWW W M W   W W W KW WW W W W W   WW WWM&W  WWWW W W W W     W W W W&W
            K&    KK  K     K   K        K  KK  &            K   K            WWW    W      &                 &             K     K    &      W   K      M

           MWW                        MM                                 K   W
           W   WM& WW WW WM  MW W W   W W WM WW   &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W  KW WM WW &WWMW   MWW W&W W W&W W WW  WWW  MMW W W W W&W W   W WWW   WMM  WMWW W W W WW&W  W
           W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW   W W W MKW&  W W WWKW  WW WMWKW WWK W   W W W  WW &K W  W   W W W W W WW  WW  W  K&W W W W W W W   W W WM  W W  WW  WKWWWW W&W WW
           W   W&M   M W W&K MM  W    W&M M  MM    MW  W  WW    W  MM  WMM   M M  WW          WW W&W W W&M   WW  WWW   MM W KMW M M W   M  WW   W  WWKK  & W W  WMW WK
                                K                                                                                K                                                  K

            WW W& WW M W M WW   M  M&   & K MM W    WKWW WW   W W W W W W WWW   WW WW WW   M W MMW   KWM WMW   WKW M M W&  MM     W WW  WW  WW  WW MW
           W   W W  WWWWWWKM W  W W W WWWW W W W    W W  WW    W  W MK MW W MW  W WWKWKK W WKM W WK  W W W W   WW& W W WW W W     WWWKWW  WW  WW&MWW
           WWW W &WW  W W    W  W W&W && W &MW W W  & KW WW   WWW WWW WWW KWW   W  WWK W WMW   W &   WMW W W   W M  W  WM MMW   WWK WMK&  WM  W WW W
                                W                                                                                  M

            & MW&  KK W&WW  K     K    W  KW WK   & WW      &   M   &     &WM    K  & W W &    &    WWW WMM WWW    K K  WW W W &K   &     W  &   M  K& WWM    WW
           WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W   W W W W&W W  &W W&W W K W W W W W&  WKW WW W W WM  W&W   KWW MKW W  W  W W W WM W WW  WW MW    W W&W W KWK WWW W   WW
           WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W  W&M W&W   W W W W&W W  && W&W WMW WMW W WMW&   W W W WKW KW  WKW   WWW WMW WWW   W W W WM W WMWWKW  W  WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW  WWWW


           &WWW                       M M
           W    W W     W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW
           WWMW W W W   W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW  W






                                                                                           &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK           KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

              } } }         }      *  * *   *     *   * *  * *    *               * *       } *             * *       *         }             }
              }           *     }           }       *   *  }          }                             *     *         }                 *
                                                    *   }      }              *                           *         }                       }
           }   }  }  } } *    *     *   **   }}      * *   } *    }         }    * * *  * *   }  * *    *  *  *    * * *   *  }   **        } }

                                                                         }             *                    }                        }
             }      *   * *       }           }   *            *         *                                  *                        *
               } *                          * *             }      }     }   }                *             }                  *             *   }
              }              }                 *                      *          }              *     *}     *      *                 }
                                                                               *
                      **             }                        }                                           }
                        *      *                                  }           *                                            *       }
                               *                          }                                    *          }       *
                                                      *     }                    }  } }                     }

                                 }                            }     }                                                    }
                                 }                                                }                               }      }                    }}
             }                       }                 }   *               }                                }            }
              }                  }              }                                       }                   }         }  }     }   *     }

                                                                                    *                                   }    }
                                   }                       }         }*  }                         }                                                      }
                }                                                                                                           }  }
                                    *     }           }           }                                                                }


                            *  }   }   }  *}   }
                   }                   }
                   }             }
                    }          }    * } * *}    ***





             }}        }}}}}}}}}}

                                V             U                       j               jo   o                              U j    o  VV
                o   U U               j       U       V         j        o      j U V V     o V j V     o   Uj  V     V     V                 U
              j     U     o                 j o V          VU         V     V   j     V     o V o   o   o                       UV            U
                                                                        U

           o                  oU                                      U U                             oo   U                                      U
                 j            VU          U               ojo      o j U         j    o         j     VV              j   V     j  o
            Vo          j U    j             o    U   U   Uo   U                 j              j     U         o   j    j           j   o    j        j
                U      U V o     U   V  U        V V  UVV     U   U jV Uj V V       j V  V o j   o V V  V oj   o V o    U  U  o  V  o   o U V      jU U o o

              j                         V                    V                o                      j     V              j         o   o
             j    V  U     Uo        U      o  j     j   j  V V                  V  V     o         o     j o  oV        j           j j j         oj    V           U
            U j       U o   j        U j           V j        V     U                 j  U        U     U                                          oo  jV      o
                  oV    j   j        j      V  o  V          Uj      U               U VooU  V        j    U    V     U    o         V   VU       j    jj     jj
                                                                                                                  U                                                U
                                o              o    j          V   V   Vj  oo                                  o  j    jV         o
           U     j        j  o    V  jVj   o            j      j   j j o j   V       j  oU  o V                       j   V           oU  jU         V
                   o             j V      j V j      U  V       U                       U               U           o      V o oo       Uj  Vo
                    j     UU            j            V  U  j             j   j    j   o     VU    V               U                     V   jj V  o
                                                                                                                    V
                                                                                                     U
           o j             U  jUjj   VU     j  j V      jUV  o o o V   UV      V   U U V U    j o              o  V o V   U j     VU        V j V j          o  o
                  o      U      j   U     j         V         V   U   V           V  V   o                    U           V     o  V    j      V             V  U
                        U V  V j            j   j   j                 V        U     U             j   j       j          V j       U              U
                                                                                                     j

                 j       j           o
                 U     V U   j       V
                 U     V U             j      jj UV
             j   j       j





               jjjjjjjj          jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo                       UUUUUUUUUUU                                          U

    K             M   K     &     K M         K     &

                                  M      &                   K

               &
                                             K

             K                                K
                                        K                      K
                                      K K               K   K  M

            &   K


                                                    K
               WW       &W  K        &          M KKMW&      K&MMWWK
                         W MWWW   W            KMKWM   K
                         WWWWWK WWW  &          &  KK&
             W           WWWWWWWW&   &    WWWW     K  &
                        WWWWWWWWWWW  K    WWWW          &&&&  &
     WWW W              WWWWWWWWWWW  KMWKWWWWWWKWM  K K &M&&K&&K
       WWWW             WWWWWWMMWWW   WWMWWWWWWW W         K   K
     WWWWWW            WWWWWWWWWWWW   WMWWWWWWWW&M         &WK K K&
      KMWWWW    W     &WWWWWWWWWWWW       &WWWW     K     WWWMK
        WWWWW   WW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW         WW      WWWM &WW&KMW
         WWWWW  MW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW                  MWWM&K    K  KM
         KWWW        WWWWWWWMWWWWWW      KMWWWWWK       &MWKK  W   M
          WM    &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW     KWWWWWWWM       &KK    K  K
         &MM   MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW     KWWWWWWWW              MM K

           .                   :
    ,   .       :  .: ,.:         , ,.,. :.   :   , :  .:
              .        :         :
    , ,  , :   . ,: ,,  : :,, .  .  ,:... .  ., , :.:  ,   ,
                      :  :            ,       :   :  ,
        :  :     :   ,    :   , : , .          :   : ,
                 : ,   ,            ,  .:     ,

    :  ,: :: :.    .: .: :,  : ,,   ,        . ,   : .   ,:
                               :
      .,  .,, . :,,
        ,           .


    .,::,,,,,,:   ::,,..   ..   ...
    : :::::::      :,:,.
    ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,.,
    : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. ,                                 .    ,
    ::        ,.,,,,..             :                         ,
    , ..      :.,,,...,,                       :   .
        ,  :  :,.    ,
    ..         :,,,                 .
            ,  :,:   ,              :
     ,      :,.     :               .          :
      .             .               .     .   .
    ::,,                            .     ::  ,.  .
    ::,::           ,               .
    ::: ,                           .             :
    ,   ,                           ,  .

     }    *  * <     } * *   *  }  } <     <         *  }
       <     }    ~       ~ ~ ~             <            ~
        }}  }*   *~}}*  }}    **<   }}~ * } *}<<<  ** } <
     * <~ ~  <  ~  *  <  ~   <  } }      ~ ~~    <   <~ * ~ <*
     * *<} <<<   ~   } *  } < * <**  *   < ~~} * * }   <~<}~}  < *}
    <  < *  <  }*     ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< }  <
    <~**~~*< }~~* }   <   ***   *< ~ *}  ~}  *  <*   <*<}~<*
    }~* } *~  }}   ~  *   << <  < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~*  }  < <  ~
     <}     ~    *   *  ~  ~~ *  ~}}  ~  ***< <  << ~  <~  <}<
    } }     <    }}  }**    *      **~   } }*<*< } }**~}  ~     }
    <*         <
     }    <       }


                 ~      <<          <        }}}}*
     ~       ~<  *~        *  <
               ~        } <    *    <                             **
     ~                         <   ~}                    ~  }   }*
      ~~ ~*                       ~ }          }        < *}~ < } *
        } ~*}}                     *<               *          *<
          < <~                      ~                           }~
            ~~~    ~   ~
             ~<   *~<                                }        }
    <             <<                 * * <      ~ }<    }         ~
    ~~       }    }<                 *<    <   ~  }
               }  *                  }~*}       }* <
             <  ~                     ~           ~} }        *
       ~                              }~           *}~*       *
     ~~~    }                         *          }} * }       *    }

      Vjoj  U o V  oj   j V   V  j    jV Vo U  j UUU  jj j

    oUjV  Uo   jV     V   oojU     o   j   V     Vj  U j  VUo
                               j
    U o   j     o o o   V  o j o   j   oj V     j   o j      jj U
      V   o  V    o j                  o  j                   V UV
                     U   o   oU   j         j  j    o
       j o      jjj  o j V  o j  U               V  oo o jj
         j     o  j                             o
     V ooVVo VoV   VV   Vjjo jj Uoj       j     U V      o o o

    o oo j j VUo o o


               jU                    ojjjjjjj     oU ojjoooooooVVVj
                             j U    j UUUUUVVVoo U     VUUUUU
                                 V V UVVVVVVooo     jUU UUUUUVojoj
             j                        VVVVVojojo jj   Uo          oV
        j  jU           U             UUVV    j Voo VV V         o V
     V   U                            VVVV    U      jjU    oU   joV
    o                              U              oU V U          oo
      j             oo             o o          U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj
    o      j                       j V            jjo oUVoU     o  j
               j V   o             o  U j        j   ooV U     oVo
       o       U                   o   UUo      UV o    o       UoUV
        V                          V     j  VV      V      UVUj oV
                 U                 V j  o        V  o VU     U  oUU
         o  o                      U o           o     V   UVV  oV V
              U                    o j             j j oVVUojj   j