“As much as I acted like I didn't care about relationships- having sex just for the fun of it- I was still a girl on the inside an I still had feelings. I hated myself for the way I treated people. I hated the person I had become. the guilt for treating people badly badly and acting destructively took a toll on me mentally. at all times I was moments away from a breakdown. but, I didn't see a way out. I didn't see an end to the madness. I was spiraling out of control but there didn't seem to be a bottom for mento hit.”