“Much of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me…You tell yourself that if they see you cry, it will hurt them, and you will be nothing but a sadness in their lives, and you must not become a mere sadness, so you will not cry, and you say all this to yourself…and then you swallow even though your throat does not want to close and you look at the person who loves you and smile.”