1st Portly Gentleman: Mr. Scrooge, sir, we find it more than usually desirable than we make some slight provision for the poor and destitute.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Excellent! Then I suggest you do so!

2nd Portly Gentleman: What may we put down for you, sir?

Ebenezer Scrooge: Nothing, sir.

1st Portly Gentleman: Ah, you wish to remain anonymous.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I wish to be left alone, sir! That is what I wish! I don't make myself merry at Christmas and I cannot afford to make idle people merry. I have been forced to support the establishments I have mentioned through taxation and God knows they cost more than they're worth. Those who are badly off must go there.

2nd Portly Gentleman: Many would rather die than go there.

Ebenezer Scrooge: If they'd rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population, Good night, gentlemen. [walks away, then turns back] Humbug!

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