“Jacob Marley's Ghost: [Scrooge has arrived in Hell] Ah! So there you are.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Marley! Where am I?

Jacob Marley's Ghost: I should have thought it was obvious. I heard you were coming down today, so I thought I'd come to greet you, show you to your quarters. Nobody else wanted to.

Ebenezer Scrooge: That's... that's very civil of you, Marley. I...I...I...I am dead, aren't I?

Jacob Marley's Ghost: As a coffin nail.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I...I had rather hoped I'd end up in Heaven.

Jacob Marley's Ghost: Did you, indeed? You may find your office here rather small, but not, I trust, unfamiliar.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Office?

Jacob Marley's Ghost: Your activities in life were so pleasing to Lucifer that he has appointed you to be his personal clerk. A singular honor. You will be to him, so to speak, what Bob Cratchit was to you.

Ebenezer Scrooge: That's not fair! It's... it's...

Jacob Marley's Ghost: Diabolical. I must confess, I find it not altogether unamusing.”