“I tell parents: Love your kid a bit less,’ Dr. Shefali says. ‘Because the love is messing this up.’

The reason for that, she continues, is because of the blinding effect that love has.

‘Love is blind, and what that means is not that it’s unconditional. It’s truly blind,’ she clarifies. ‘You’re not even seeing the child in front of you. You’re just so consumed by your need to be loved back, by your need to feel love yourself.’

This is why Dr. Shefali suggests shifting the focus.

‘Let’s put love aside. Now let’s talk about consciousness,’ she says. ‘Because love without consciousness becomes need, dependency. It becomes control in the name of love.’”