“I admire your snack choices across the board. However, if you’re doing salt and vinegar—which is an excellent way to go,” I begin. “Are you completely satisfied to go sour-sour with the cola bottles? Just putting it out there that we have regular bottles, twin cherries . . . We also carry gummy frogs if you want that mallowy toothsomeness with a hit of surreptitious peach—or, and I know this is wild, but hear me out. . . .” I hold my hands up. “Would you be open to going sour cola but pairing it with Zapp’s Voodoo for the sweetness even though I can’t tell if the chips are somehow racist. . . .”