“Did you know that Planned Parenthood was for abortions? It’s for people that don’t plan things out at all.”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: Planned Parenthood
“You know how much money you have to have to tell a girl to shut the fuck up? I have 'Quiet, please' money at best. I’d have to take a loan out for 'Shut the fuck up.' 'Shut the fuck up–' That’s Jay Z money. And Beyoncé got 'No, you shut the fuck up' money.”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: Jay-Z and Beyonce, Money, Marriage
“How can you care about anything when you know every goddamn thing?”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: Information Overload, Too Much Media, Sick from Data , Too Smart For Your Own Good, Quote of the Moment
“I’m from a time that I didn’t even used to know who was on the phone until I answered the shit.”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: Caller ID, Being Old In 2017 , How We Lived Before iPhones
“Here’s the fact that I heard, but haven’t confirmed. I heard that when Martin Luther King stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and said he had a dream, he was speaking into a PA system that Bill Cosby paid for. So, you understand what I’m saying? The point is this: He rapes, but he saves. And…”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: martin luther king, Civil Rights, Utilitarianism, Complex Moral Portraits, Doing Bad But Also Doing Good
“Can’t do comparative suffering. If you’re hungry, and your friend says, 'you know, people are starving in Africa,' 'so what, nigga? I still want lunch.'”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: Suffering, Comparing Your Pain To Others
“This is the age of spin. The age where nobody knows what the fuck they’re even looking at.”— Dave Chappelle, scrapsfromtheloft.comTagged: spin, Media Manipulation, Seeing Seeing