“Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for possibly becoming the first f...president. I would have said ‘female’ but someone deleted the ‘emale.”— Jimmy Fallon, nbc.com
“I’ve had a lot of people take selfies with me. [After giving a speech and hitting the rope line] it used to be they’d say, ‘I want to ask you about what our nuclear force posture might be. Now they say, ‘can we take a selfie?’ And I say, ‘ of course we can.’ It’s a huge part of the culture.”— Hillary Clinton, nbc.com
“BREAKING: Donald Trump says he identifies as a presidential candidate.”— Dylan Stableford, twitter.com
“Drumpf is much less magical. It’s the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy. Drumpf. It’s the sound of a bottle of store-brand root beer falling off the shelf in a gas station minimart. And it may seem weird to bring up his ancestral name, but to…”— John Oliver, youtube.com