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Quotes tagged ‘Florida Jokes’

(10 total)

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the horror movie War of the Worlds, but it’s actually just a documentary about a normal week in the state of Florida.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

You won’t find a Jacuzzi in Florida, because if a Floridian wanted to suffocate themselves in hot steam they would just walk outside.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Florida is so hot that people crowd around fire to cool down.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Florida is the only state in the union where zombie-like face-eating is a legitimate concern and where a Category 4 hurricane is considered a mild weather condition.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for hell.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

They call Florida the ‘Sunshine State,’ which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes—when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Florida is so hot that when you die and go to hell, you wake up in Boca Raton.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

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