“Carol Kester Bondurant: ...is being late a serious enough problem to see a psychologist about? Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: Well, Mr. Hastings is a lifeguard.”— Dick Clair, Robert Hartley, Bob Newhart, imdb.com
“Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool? They kept dropping their trunks.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning? Cause he was too faar out maan.”— jmoney213, reddit.com