“God sent his only son on a suicide mission, but people like him because he made trees.”— Aaron Sorkin, imdb.com
“There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick Rain asked his mom, ‘Why is my name ‘Rain’?’ ‘Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.’ Then Snow asked his mom, ‘Why is my name ‘Snow’?’ ‘Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.’ Then Brick asked his mom, ‘NY…”— chickenstr1p, reddit.com
“I told my dad me and my friend went to the store. He said, "my friend and I went to the store" Poor guy is losing it, he definitely wasn't there.”— jaybfresh, reddit.com
“People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch.”— Aktionjackson, reddit.com
“My mother died two weeks ago and my son hasn’t attended English classes since. I think he’s missing gramma.”— johnnykitd, reddit.com
“Son: Dad, a guy called me gay at the school today. Dad: Punch him in the face. Son: But he is so cute.”— The-PC-guy, reddit.com
“A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother? He answered, "Call for backup."”— PineappleMcGee, reddit.com
“A son is a son until he takes him a wife; a daughter is a daughter for all of her life.”— Liane Moriarty, amazon.com