“We all know one-night stands aren’t cure-alls for broken hearts and low self-esteem. That shit can backfire hard. We’ve all tried some form of remedy by way of sex and wound up feeling even more alone and running back to whatever dickface we’d just found the strength to leave.”
More from Amy Schumer
“The key is to never ever let them sleep over.”
“The key is to never ever let them sleep over.”
“I shit myself in Austin while I was going for a walk recently.”
“When you turn 30, this really cool thing happens where your metabolism goes, 'Later,…”