“The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor; and it's time to free your mother from his neon claws.”
More from Bill Oakley
“Kevin, do something! How much fun is college going to be if everyone's drinking beer and…”
“Look at this country: U-R-Gay!”
“What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot?”
“Lisa: Mom, Dad, this biography of Peter Ueberroth is only 99 cents. And I found the new Al…”