“Sometimes crowds make me feel guilty for not having fun like everyone else. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty.”
More from Chris Offutt
“I am an organic vegan and my carbon footprint is miniscule.”
“Life is just getting too weird too fast.”
“Yeah, I don't like how they keep takin' stuff away. Like Pluto's not a planet anymore and…”
“Well you go ahead on, hooker with your badass. Good for you. It ain't possible to live…”