“Yeah, I don't like how they keep takin' stuff away. Like Pluto's not a planet anymore and a brontosaurus stopped being a dinosaur.”
More from Chris Offutt
“I am an organic vegan and my carbon footprint is miniscule.”
“Life is just getting too weird too fast.”
“Sometimes crowds make me feel guilty for not having fun like everyone else. And then I…”
“Well you go ahead on, hooker with your badass. Good for you. It ain't possible to live…”