“If you use fancy-pants words first thing in the morning, you’re going to end up a very lonely man.”
More from Daniel Handler
“Does this seem like a nightmare? A bad dream? Because that’s the effect I was going for.”
“A library is like an island in a vast sea of ignorance.”
“Girls were falling all over me in school, and not just because I would extend my leg when…”
“Ah, cocktail hour. When the sky is gold with the promise of fortunes and sparkling with…”