“Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”
More from Diablo Cody
“Love conquers all. Have you not seen The Graduate?”
“Tara: Kate! I did not raise you to let boys who wear pigtails push you around. Benjamin…”
“What if I want to pray the gay to stay?”
“I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?”