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Juno MacGuff

21 quotes

All Baby (4)pregnant (2)Pregnancy (2)Wondering (1)Sea (1)gold (1)Questions (1)Plus Sign (1)Huge (1)garbage (1)Feet (1)Drinks (1)Faith (1)kick it (1)Good (1)

From “Juno”

Ow, ow, fuckity-ow!

Pain ow

Mac MacGuff: Who is the kid? Juno MacGuff: The-the baby? I don't really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly.

kid father fingernails Baby

I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.

Hyperbole examples pumice garbage Cooler Prom

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.

ugly coyote stings Worse Abandonment

That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!'

wise choice freak out kracken Sea behavioral meds

Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?

Cute Huge Questions

No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.

food baby Pregnancy Test spout

I'm just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know... an infant

nip bud Pregnancy infant

Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today. Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach. Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.

Shorts gold small talk color safe Bleach

I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.

Possible Happy Forever

I just wonder if like, two people can ever stay together for good.

stay together People Good

I'm just like losing my faith with humanity.

Losing Faith humanity

No, it's not...and, you know, Paulie is actually great...in, uh...in chair.

Great Chair Sex

Vanessa: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice with folic acid or... Juno: I'll have a Maker's Mark. Up.

Drinks Alcohol Jokes

I think it's 'cause my heart starts pounding every time I see you.

heart Pounding Love

You're like naturally smart, and you're not like everyone else. You don't stare at my stomach all the time, you look at my face and every time I see you, the baby starts kicking super hard.

Smart Stomach face Baby kicking

Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are. Juno: Nah, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Parents Wondering pregnant shenanigans

Can't we just like kick this old school? You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?

kick it Old School Baby basket Moses

I was thinking I could, like, have this baby, and give it to someone that like totally needs it, like a woman with a bum ovary or a couple of nice lesbos.

Baby Adoption overaries

I'm sorry... And if it is any consolation, I have heartburn that is radiating in my knee caps and I haven't taken a dump since Wednesday... morning!

Apologies Pregnancy Consolation Heartburn Constipation

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