“Mac MacGuff: Who is the kid? Juno MacGuff: The-the baby? I don't really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly.”Tagged: kid, father, fingernails, Baby
“I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.”Tagged: Hyperbole examples, pumice, garbage, Cooler, Prom
“Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”Tagged: ugly, coyote, stings, Worse, Abandonment
“That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!'”Tagged: wise choice, freak out, kracken, Sea, behavioral meds
“No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.”Tagged: food baby, Pregnancy Test, spout
“I'm just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know... an infant”Tagged: nip, bud, Pregnancy, infant
“Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today. Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach. Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.”Tagged: Shorts, gold, small talk, color safe, Bleach
“I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”Tagged: Possible, Happy, Forever
“I just wonder if like, two people can ever stay together for good.”Tagged: stay together, People, Good
“No, it's not...and, you know, Paulie is actually great...in, uh...in chair.”Tagged: Great, Chair, Sex
“Vanessa: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice with folic acid or... Juno: I'll have a Maker's Mark. Up.”Tagged: Drinks, Alcohol, Jokes
“You're like naturally smart, and you're not like everyone else. You don't stare at my stomach all the time, you look at my face and every time I see you, the baby starts kicking super hard.”Tagged: Smart, Stomach, face, Baby, kicking
“Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are. Juno: Nah, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”Tagged: Parents, Wondering, pregnant, shenanigans
“Can't we just like kick this old school? You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?”Tagged: kick it, Old School, Baby, basket, Moses
“I was thinking I could, like, have this baby, and give it to someone that like totally needs it, like a woman with a bum ovary or a couple of nice lesbos.”Tagged: Baby, Adoption, overaries
“I'm sorry... And if it is any consolation, I have heartburn that is radiating in my knee caps and I haven't taken a dump since Wednesday... morning!”Tagged: Apologies, Pregnancy, Consolation, Heartburn, Constipation