“No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.”
More from Diablo Cody
“Love conquers all. Have you not seen The Graduate?”
“Tara: Kate! I did not raise you to let boys who wear pigtails push you around. Benjamin…”
“What if I want to pray the gay to stay?”
“I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?”