“Being single is the only time in your life you can be entirely selfish and nobody can call you out on it. I don't have to compromise on jack—I see what movies I want to see when I want to see them, get wine drunk on a Saturday afternoon if I'm feeling it, and am basically the master of my own derpy destiny. I don't have to politely pretend to be interested in someone else's hobbies and I feel all kinds of free for it.”