“Lois, if God wanted me to not sleep with my wife he would have made me John Travolta.”

“Sometimes in life, you just have to accept what's coming to you. Like the contestant who…”

“Man in Airport: Aren't you a little young to be traveling alone? Stewie Griffin: Aren't…”

“Meg Griffin: Chris! You're hogging all the fans! Chris Griffin: Oh yeah? Well you're…”