“He will ONLY communicate with you via Snapchat or text message. Don’t even bother calling.…”

“He always talks about how he wants to make shitloads of money but has no ambition.”

“He’s that drunk asshole at the bar who spills beer all over you and doesn’t apologize or…”

“His idea of spontaneity is sending unsolicited dick pictures. Oh? It’s three P.M. on a…”