“Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV…sitting down with your kids…and hitting…”

“Blackmail’ is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion.’ The 'x’ makes it sound cool.”

“My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?”

“All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m…”