“My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?”
More from J. Stewart Burns
“Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV…sitting down with your kids…and hitting…”
“Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far.”
“Blackmail’ is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion.’ The 'x’ makes it sound cool.”
“All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m…”