“You know, there are a few times in a guy's life - and I mean two or three, tops - when he comes to a crossroads, and he's gotta decide. If he goes one way, he can keep doing what he's been doing and be with any woman who'll have him. And if he goes the other way, he gets to be with only one woman, maybe - maybe for the rest of his life. Now it seems that by taking the other road, he's missing out on a lot. But the truth is, he gets much more in return. He gets to be happy.”
More from Jack Black
“Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes.”
“The wind... it's what makes it so warm this time of year. Legend has it, when the Santa…”
“[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio] Hal: Does she take the cake, or…”
“Hal: So what do you weigh, like 110? 115? Rosemary: [sarcastically] Which one of my butt…”