“I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?”
More from Jamie Rhonheimer
“That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode…”
“It's just, eventually we're all gonna move on. It's called growing up.”
“The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.”
“Bad as you think this place is with you, it's even worse without you.”