“Andre: [wearing a fedora] I'm a doctor and there's a medical emergency. I need to get on the flight.
TSA Guard: I don't believe you, and a doctor wouldn't wear that hat.”
More from Jeff Schaffer
“Pete: You suck. See you Sunday. Kevin: Love you.”
“You ever dream in 3-D? It’s like the bogeyman is coming RIGHT AT YOU.”
“There is no bigger loser than me!”
“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”