“It was at that low moment that my indigenous friends introduced me to the cocaine leaf. Ten times more potent than the stepped-on powder sold in L.A. For the rest of the 70s, I lived like a jacked-up koala.”
More from John Mulaney
“I am scared and aroused, the chocolate and peanut butter of feelings.”
“This is capitalism. You reap what you sow.”
“I mean, sure, normally I'd go home and jerk off, eat a giant page of Doritos, fall asleep…”
“You're getting your hair pubed?”