“I'm sorry, but my mother always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.”
More from John Swartzwelder
“Y'ello? You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel.”
“Marge: Homer, I'd love a glass of that wine Bart brought us. Homer: Sorry, Marge. Some…”
“Everything lasts forever.”
“Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”