Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme and appeals to our egos in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate.

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Stout argues that there is a difference between complimenting someone and charming them to fulfill a selfish agenda. Charm is almost always excessive, is designed to appeal to the ego and soften the victim's defenses. Authentic compliments, on the other hand, are sincere and given with no hidden agenda. Charm and charisma also happen to be powerful indicators of sociopathy. The conscienceless have it in spades.

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