“Mainstream trauma treatment has paid scant attention to helping terrified people to safely experience their sensations and emotions.”— Bessel Van Der Kolk, amazon.com
“Trauma by nature drives us to the edge of comprehension, cutting us off from language based on common experience or an imaginable past.”— Bessel Van Der Kolk, amazon.com
“Long after a traumatic experience is over, it may be reactivated at the slightest hint of danger and mobilize disturbed brain circuits and secrete massive amounts of stress hormones. This precipitates unpleasant emotions intense physical sensations, and impulsive and aggressive actions. These posttr…”— Bessel Van Der Kolk, amazon.com
“Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own.”— Bessel Van Der Kolk, amazon.com
“Most criminals are not psychopaths, and many of the individuals who manage to operate on the shady side of the law and remain out of prison are psychopaths.”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“Don't waste your sympathy on them; their problems are not in the same league as yours. Theirs stem primarily from not getting what they want, whereas yours result from a physical, emotional, or financial pounding.”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“Their aggressive displays are "cold"; they lack the intense emotional arousal experienced by others when they lose their temper.”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“Their callousness typically emerges in less dramatic, though still devastating, ways: parasitically bleeding other people of their possessions, savings, and dignity; aggressively doing and taking what they want; shamefully neglecting the physical and emotional welfare of their families; engaging in…”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed - they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie.”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“Although psychopaths have a "hair trigger" and readily initiate aggressive displays, their ensuing behavior is not out of control. On the contrary, when psychopaths "blow their stack" it is as if they are having a temper tantrum; they know exactly what they are doing.”— Robert D. Hare, amazon.com
“Why are conscience-bound human beings so blind? And why are they so hesitant to defend themselves, and the ideals and people they care about, from the minority of human beings who possess no conscience at all? A large part of the answer has to do with the emotions and thought processes that occur in…”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“After all, violence is conspicuous, and unless performed against the utterly powerless, such as children or animals, it is likely to get the perpetrator caught.”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“The only truly effective method for dealing with a sociopath you have identified is to disallow him or her from your life altogether. Sociopaths live completely outside of the social contract, and therefore to include them in relationships or other social arrangements is perilous.”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme and appeals to our egos in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate.”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“If you do not desire control, but instead want to help people, then help those who truly want to be helped. I think you will find this does not include the person who has no conscience.”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“At some point, most of us need to learn the important, if disappointing, life lesson that, no matter how good our intentions, we cannot control the behavior - let alone the character structures - of other people.”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“A part of a healthy conscience is being able to confront consciencelessness. When you teach your daughter, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to the point of not defending herself or other people, that she must not rock the boat…”— Martha Stout, amazon.com
“Individuals high on the dark triad traits appear to exhibit an empathic profile that allows them to retain their ability to read and assess others’ emotions, and subsequently utilize this sensitive information to formulate strategies with which they can acquire what they want, while their lack of af…”— Michael Wai, Niko Tiliopoulos, sciencedirect.com
“Sometimes just the manipulator speaking with apparent conviction can invite the overly conscientious person to doubt themselves. And often, manipulators “bundle” tactics together, giving vague, misleading, half-answers, distracting, minimizing and rationalizing... they might pull out a “trump card”…”— Dr. George Simon, drgeorgesimon.com
“Covert-aggression is at the heart of most interpersonal manipulation. What the artful, subtle fighter knows is that if they can get you to doubt yourself, feel like you have to explain yourself, and question your perceptions and judgment, there’s a good chance they can get you to back down, back-off…”— Dr. George Simon, drgeorgesimon.com