“Jay Sherman: [answering the phone] Hello?
Eleanor Sherman: Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will. We feel you already have enough money. Oh, yes, and happy birthday.”
More from Mike Reiss
“[finishing a movie review] ... and that is why Goldie Hawn should be shot!”
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“Bart: I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants. Grampa: Too late.”