“Happy birthday Twitter! I love you. You're like my best friend who I talk to endlessly but don't have to listen to their problems.”
More from Mindy Kaling
“Wouldn’t be mad If you equally distributed my freshman 15 between my boobs and my ass.”
“You think I’m some Jennifer Coolidge character?”
“Emotionally, I’m hanging D.”
“Have you seen Devi when she gets upset? She makes the Hulk look like Kermit.”