“I am a theatrical person. Growing up I always thought I would become an actor, because, I have these memorization tricks that I use. For instance, I learned the Pledge of Allegiance by singing it to the tune of Old Macdonald: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America / And to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God. / With a woof woof here and a woof woof there, here a woof, there a woof, everywhere a woof woof.”
More from Mindy Kaling
“Wouldn’t be mad If you equally distributed my freshman 15 between my boobs and my ass.”
“You think I’m some Jennifer Coolidge character?”
“Emotionally, I’m hanging D.”
“Have you seen Devi when she gets upset? She makes the Hulk look like Kermit.”