Michael Scott

98 quotes

Entrepreneur · United States Of America · Male

All humor (6)Work (4)Love (4)misworded (3)Drug (2)Prison Mike (2)first (2)contradictory (2)information (2)New York City (2)Office (2)Second (2)Friendship (2)Friends (2)boss (2)

From “The Office”

“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”

Tagged: The Office, humor

From “The Injury”

“I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask.”

Tagged: special treatment, family member, physical trauma, too much to ask

“I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock.”

Tagged: butter, Foot, Country Crock, Pain, Relief

“I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to…”

Tagged: breakfast, Bed, Smell, Bacon, George Foreman Grill

From “Pilot”

From “Diversity Day”

“Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North.' And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.”

Tagged: Abraham Lincoln, North, Principles, work place

“That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here.”

Tagged: Offensive, lame, environment, welcoming, Get Out

“Is there something besides 'Mexican' you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?”

Tagged: Offensive, Mexican, Preference, Question

From “Basketball”

“I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans!”

Tagged: sinking, nothing but net, african american, jaws

From “Sexual Harassment”

“I don't come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.”

Tagged: forward, Arrest, Guy, passing drugs

“Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he's not really a part of our family. Also he's divorced... so he's not really a part of his family.”

Tagged: Human Resources, corporate, Family, divorced

From “Office Olympics”

“I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.”

Tagged: early bird, night owl, Early Bird Gets The Worm

“I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go.”

Tagged: would not miss it, World, not go, contradictory

From “The Fight”

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

Tagged: feared, Loved, Both

From “The Client”

“Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn't moving, you might think she was dead.”

Tagged: cold, train, dead, Stiff, expressionless

From “Christmas Party”

“Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.”

Tagged: reverse psychology, Psychology

“Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.’”

Tagged: presents, Care, Love, dollars, Money

Michael Scott

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