“There are times in my life when sex plays a bigger role than it probably should, and when…”

“Oh, my God. You're so old. From afar, I was like, okay, she's cute. But up close? You…”

“It's like I'm just this overactive, hormonal baby capsule that hasn't had sex in 12 days.”

“I mean, it sucks he has a problem, but since when do people in rehab get care packages? I…”